Things I learned during High School Girls Camp '07

Okay, just so everyone is clear, I didn't actually go to girls camp, but my wife did and while she was gone I learned many things.
1. The bachelor instinct is not easily lost. The house was less than clean within 1/2 a day.
2. Despite how much I complain about Julie taking up most of the bed, sleeping in a big bed all alone is even more annoying. I was never sure which side to put my head on.
3. If your wife says she is going to make chicken salad for lunches and such while she's gone, have a back up plan. It may not happen.
4. Despite giving him more attention than ever, Sam will never love me as much as he does Julie.

Back on track

I realize I don't post on this blog very often, and I am quite sorry for that. After reading my wife's latest post, I am filled with renewed vigor to be a beacon of truth. Anyone who reads my wife's blog should first check here before falling into a deception, such as buying our toaster. I will be double checking for anything else she may have put on the market that I would like to keep. In the meantime, read responsibly.

I have pretty much decided that it is going to be tough to keep this blog on the cheerful side. There is just so much to be cynical about.

Now that the snow is gone we have been having people soliciting door to door. Included in these poor soles who will never get my money is a girl from Verizon who let our dog out when she opened the screen door. She then proceeded to try to sell me verizon internet services and didn't seem to realize that I should be helping my wife chase our dog. If anyone reading this is a door to door sales person. Please don't continue to try to sell stuff once the customer's dog has run away. Not going to do you a whole lot of good.

On top of that, we often get people from ADT security try to sign up back up for service. Not even sure why they exist in this part of the county because I don't think anyone even locks their doors around here. Well I have this old "Protected by ADT" sign in our front yard from the previous owners and it seems to have been constantly suffering damage until it finally was broken in half. I am convinced that the ADT people were destroying it. Very conniving if you ask me.

The nerve

It has been a while since my last post and part of it is that I have been having a hard time coming up with something else to write about besides our dog. However, I feel it necessary to dive into this dreadful topic once more to correct the complete falsehood of my last post indicating that sam and I were bonding. Notice now that I am not even capitalizing his name.
So, the other sam and I were hanging out and I decided to leave for 10 minutes get something at the hardware store. Normally I would have put sam in his room but felt that he had been behaving rather well and wouldn't get into trouble... yeah, not so much.
So, I come home to find that sam has gotten into the trash to eat the entire wrapper from the bacon we had made earlier. Turns out dogs can't digest Styrofoam and plastic and the wrapper was promptly thrown up all over our couch. Yes, the same one that sam loves to sit by me on. Not only did he throw it up, but he did twice on the couch, and once on the living room floor. Not sure why he felt the need to puke on the most absorbent surfaces he could find. The culprit was found lounging in the sun beam of the living room window. Needless to say, the bonding process has come to a complete halt.

Today we had a glorious thunderstorm in the early morning. It is truly amazing just how dark it can get at 10 am. Either way, it was very exciting! After the storm it cleared up significantly and was very warm. Spring is here!!! I love spring. I can't even imagine someone who doesn't.

In addition to spring being here. Sam and I are finally starting to bond. For those who don't know, Sam is my wife's Jack Russel Terrier. He didn't like me very much at first and made his feelings towards me quite obvious. (If anyone should ever pee on one of your favorite jackets, I would guess it is safe to say that there is some turmoil in the relationship.) Recently Sam has taken to sitting next to me on the couch while I read or type. I think he is pleased that we are not getting a second dog and knows that I played a big part in this decision.

Creepy

Today, Paul Fischer, someone I have fellowshipped with at church for the past four years, told me where I can pick out my own casket...

I am not really sure what else to say about that.

I didn't realize...

that I would actually get comments on my blog. I thought my wife would read it out of pity, but to receive five comments is truly amazing. Unfortunately I suppose this means that I will have to come up with clever things to say every so often.

So I suppose I should start by continuing to counter the lack of cheer in my wife's posts. For instance, she does not have pneumonia, or anything even close to it. She coughed... twice...
If you felt like sending a get well card please don't, it will only encourage more made up diseases.

As for the puppy. I realize this may sound cynical, which does not follow my mission statement, but I need to warn others out there of the dangers of mentioning the word "PUPPY". It immediately ignites a flurry of activity revolved around dog books, internet searches for dogs, and conversations with total strangers about dogs. To make matters worse we went into a pet store with several obnoxiously cute puppies. I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed when my wife pushed all of the little children out of they way to get to the viewing glass. We barely made it out of there without taking one of the $300 pee factories home with us.